Wedding planning comes with its own fair share of frustrations and most of the time, getting around the roadblocks only takes some clear thinking, an open mind and a dose of honesty.
Do you have pushy relatives, a parent, a sibling or friends who have strong opinions about your wedding? They can sometimes ruin this memorable day in your life and turn your wedding planning into a nightmare. Of course, they only mean well, but when everyone begins telling you where to get wed, is disapproving of your wedding dress or demanding to sit at the main table, oh dear… your entire wedding experience might be in jeopardy!
To help keep you sane and still have great relationships with these folks, Thankyou has some tips to help you deal with your over-reaching lovelies.
Be honest and kind.
Honesty doesn’t have to be “brutal”. You don’t have to avoid your pushy relative to prevent frustration or you might end up in a major fight that could’ve been avoided. Tell them that you know they want the best for you, but you feel like you are missing out the excitement on planning your own wedding because you’re not allowed to decide for yourself. For instance, if mum is insisting on a dress for you, explain why you aren’t comfortable with it. Tell her how much it means to you to have your own perfect dress at the wedding. Be firm. Set boundaries clearly, so they all know how much opinions and advice you’d appreciate and when it is too much for comfort.
Prepare to foot your own bill.
Relatives paying for your wedding? They’re sure to have heaps of things to say! That’s because they feel they have the right to guide you and your choices, after all, they are paying for the wedding anyway. In this case, you might have to return the money in order to stop your pushy relative. It would be less stressful for you to just pay for the wedding especially if their donations come with too many strings attached. Save your relationship with them and foot the bill yourself.
Meet with your vendors alone (or just with your future spouse)
Your future mum-in-law can’t talk you into getting ugly flowers if she’s not in the flower shop with you. Visit your vendors alone or with you spouse only, so you can decide for yourselves. Explain that you wish to make the decision yourself. If feelings of hurt arise, tell them that you don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings but you only wish to make final decisions as a couple so you could practice the compromise and decision making that married people do.
Family can also drive us crazy at certain times, but don’t burn the bridges during your wedding planning! You’d still want to be invited to Sunday lunch after all of this is over, right?
How did you deal with everyone’s opinion about your wedding plans? Share with us your stories below.